The Rules

1. Be Excellent to Eachother
2. Party on, Dudes
3. Don't Pee in my Sink
4. No Fat Chicks
5. You Cannot Nominate Yourself as an Officer

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Hey guys, my mental health history is so horrible that you should all know about it and I'm going to use it as a disclaimer for everything bad I do, ever

It’s one thing to have severe depression. That is a case in and of itself that is to be taken seriously.
However, to have depression and then complain about it to other people without any thought of how to fix it?
I think that might not be depression at all. That’s something called immaturity.
Anybody that is pretty close to me is aware that I know what I’m talking about. But I don’t let people know left and right. I don’t complain. Things have gotten much better since last year— in school, socially and every other way; I’m thankful that my life is how it is.
I stopped associating myself with drama (or “baggage,” a term I started using last year that means any extra crap that is part of being with another person) directly this year. It’s just not worth my time. 
That is to say, I’m no better or worse than any other person I know, but I have the choice to be around certain people and not be around other certain people. 
The way I become friends with somebody is practically black and white. I don’t (or try not very hard not to) judge the people around me, but the baggage they come with is definitely more cut and dry to like and dislike.
Here’s an example. There’s this dude that I was friends with for a long time. Somewhere in middle school we stopped being around each other (mostly by my choice) because of all the stupid things that I had to take on in addition to his friendship. He would whine, complain and worst of all, disregard my opinion and feelings.
I gradually realized that interacting with him was not about us talking; it was about him talking to me.
I love the guy. He’s a cool dude.
But the baggage he comes with is irritating and just unpleasant.
So that’s why I stopped hanging out with him. I’m not a bad person. It wasn’t that I’m a bad friend. We just don’t click as bro’s.
Now, though, there’s people that I just won’t be with because the baggage is ridiculous. It’s very easy to pick up on people that make their lives part of yours. The trick is not to get trapped, because even when you take on part of their life, for whatever reason, their load doesn’t become any less.
It’s almost like it just multiplies. Now you have to deal with them AND yourself. It’s not healthy. 
That doesn’t mean I don’t like to listen to my friends. I lean on my bro’s just as much as they lean on me.
The difference between needing an ear and shoving your baggage on other people is — you ready? — throwing off your baggage does not help you at all. Your problem is not relieved and it is entirely unnecessary. 
Honestly, nobody cares. True friends care about helping you with your problems, but true friends shouldn’t care at all about complaining.
And neither should you.
There’s a rut that people get stuck in called depression. Everybody sees it. It’s not some big secret. I know what it’s like. 
I don’t know much about it, but I do know a few things :)
If I could talk to myself one year ago, I would tell him these things.
1. Chill out, dude. Everything’s okay.
2. People love you. People care.
3. Stop telling yourself that you’re not going anywhere in life. Cut it out. It’s a lie.
4. You’re getting a Cadillac. It’s sweet.
5. You’re going to be on Varsity but not play. Whatever. It gets better.
6. Play more chess.
7. Stop journaling. It’s poisonous.
8. Stop talking about failure. Shut up. Just shut up. You’re not a failure. Damn. You’re 15. You can’t even fail yet. Seriously.
9. Duloxetine and Trileptal. 
10. If you ever have an opportunity for a friend’s Xbox— DONT.
Once upon a time, I was sad. But then, I stopped being sad and started being awesome.
True story bro.

52 comments:

  1. thats a good list mate, Barney comment FTW!

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  2. I wish there is a way to show my true respect and appreciation for sharing this with us. I happy you 've been over this and I wish, as you did, to have the opportunity to have a little talk with our past selves. The list would be bigger that all the Harry Potter pages combined

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  3. Glad to hear you stopped being sad.

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  4. I'm happy to learn you are awesome and not sad anymore, what sport were you on varsity?

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  5. Good to hear that you've cheered up. Life is just too good to be sad! Followed :)

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  6. I'm glad to hear this. God on you!

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  7. I haven't suffered from depression or something in common yet, but if I do I guess this list will be useful :)

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  8. Never had any kind of depression or anything like that. Key is to care less.

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  9. Everyone loves a happy ending.

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  10. Good to hear that you have a case of the happyface =]

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  11. inspirational thoughts, great ending

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  12. umm you should probably see a therapist

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  13. Looks like you figured out the hard way what a self-fulfilling prophecy is and how to avoid it. Good job.

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  14. That doesn't sound like bad mental health or anything. It just sounds like what most people go through in school. It will all be irrelevant after high school graduation.

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  15. lol @ the title
    also everyone goes through a depression sometimes =O

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  16. Sound completely normal if you ask me.
    A lot of people are a lot worse off.

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  17. Things will get better, keep your head up.

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  18. Everyone loves a happy ending!

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  19. Tough luck bro Spicy Story Ese

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  20. Hope you doing well man. stay strong

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  21. I used to be diagnosed with moderate to severe depression, thankfully more on the moderate side of things. I thought of death but was still afraid of suicide and I always had a little sliver of hope that things would turn around. 3 years later it did!

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  22. nice job glad things are looking up

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  23. Used to be pretty depressed, though it would come in cycles. Then I went to a new doctor and he did a full blood work up. Turns out my vitamin D level was so low it came up on the test as abnormal. Shocked my body with super high vitamin D pills and now I take vitamins every day. I feel way better now and all it was.... a vitamin deficiency.

    If you are still depressed, have your doctor check that out. (and shocking your system may lead to other problems, so only do so in a Dr's care)

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  24. Good post, glad you're not sad anymore.

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  25. Very interesting post. I find issues on mental health can affect us all. I'm glad you're doing better. Friends are an amazing resource.

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  26. i liked more your previoust post about coffee

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  27. Always keep your head level, above the water and against the grain.

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  28. Wow don't give up! I will give you support whenever you need it!

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  29. Glad you're feeling better about where you stand in life. Keep it up!

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  30. Don't give up, also thanks for sharing.

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  31. This doesn't sounds like depression as much as every non cool kids highschool experience ever.

    the list made me lol though

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  32. Understandable, I myself am bipolar so I understand

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  33. Choices are powerful. I'm glad you've worked through it and you're feeling better. Keep up the good work!

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  34. "I was sad. But then, I stopped being sad and started being awesome."

    This.

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  35. this just made my day better, thank you for this post!

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  36. I feel you bro
    Been having problem with friends and stuff
    just trying to sort out the good ones from the bad ones right now
    Baggage is a good term
    I like listening to people's problems
    I really do but It's irritates me that some will just say they will be with me and then not try to talk to me or anything
    I to went through some tough times but like you I don't like to advertise it:D
    Very good Post
    Keep it up :)

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  37. you're 16?

    shit, im sorry ; )

    just keep writing. this time is only a part of the whole you.

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  38. Depression isn't mental it is emotivional, do not tag yourself.

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