It’s one thing to have severe depression. That is a case in and of itself that is to be taken seriously.
However, to have depression and then complain about it to other people without any thought of how to fix it?
I think that might not be depression at all. That’s something called immaturity.
Anybody that is pretty close to me is aware that I know what I’m talking about. But I don’t let people know left and right. I don’t complain. Things have gotten much better since last year— in school, socially and every other way; I’m thankful that my life is how it is.
I stopped associating myself with drama (or “baggage,” a term I started using last year that means any extra crap that is part of being with another person) directly this year. It’s just not worth my time.
That is to say, I’m no better or worse than any other person I know, but I have the choice to be around certain people and not be around other certain people.
The way I become friends with somebody is practically black and white. I don’t (or try not very hard not to) judge the people around me, but the baggage they come with is definitely more cut and dry to like and dislike.
Here’s an example. There’s this dude that I was friends with for a long time. Somewhere in middle school we stopped being around each other (mostly by my choice) because of all the stupid things that I had to take on in addition to his friendship. He would whine, complain and worst of all, disregard my opinion and feelings.
I gradually realized that interacting with him was not about us talking; it was about him talking to me.
I love the guy. He’s a cool dude.
But the baggage he comes with is irritating and just unpleasant.
So that’s why I stopped hanging out with him. I’m not a bad person. It wasn’t that I’m a bad friend. We just don’t click as bro’s.
Now, though, there’s people that I just won’t be with because the baggage is ridiculous. It’s very easy to pick up on people that make their lives part of yours. The trick is not to get trapped, because even when you take on part of their life, for whatever reason, their load doesn’t become any less.
It’s almost like it just multiplies. Now you have to deal with them AND yourself. It’s not healthy.
That doesn’t mean I don’t like to listen to my friends. I lean on my bro’s just as much as they lean on me.
The difference between needing an ear and shoving your baggage on other people is — you ready? — throwing off your baggage does not help you at all. Your problem is not relieved and it is entirely unnecessary.
Honestly, nobody cares. True friends care about helping you with your problems, but true friends shouldn’t care at all about complaining.
And neither should you.
There’s a rut that people get stuck in called depression. Everybody sees it. It’s not some big secret. I know what it’s like.
I don’t know much about it, but I do know a few things :)
If I could talk to myself one year ago, I would tell him these things.
1. Chill out, dude. Everything’s okay.
2. People love you. People care.
3. Stop telling yourself that you’re not going anywhere in life. Cut it out. It’s a lie.
4. You’re getting a Cadillac. It’s sweet.
5. You’re going to be on Varsity but not play. Whatever. It gets better.
6. Play more chess.
7. Stop journaling. It’s poisonous.
8. Stop talking about failure. Shut up. Just shut up. You’re not a failure. Damn. You’re 15. You can’t even fail yet. Seriously.
9. Duloxetine and Trileptal.
10. If you ever have an opportunity for a friend’s Xbox— DONT.
Once upon a time, I was sad. But then, I stopped being sad and started being awesome.
True story bro.